Net Dive Vibes

Cybertron dan Destron @____________o

2008-05-13T20:42:00.002+08:00

Where do I pick up? Sigh, told myself to write more this year but my laziness has once again got the better of me.

So in a quick round up, Stereophonics rocks!!!! Boy oh boy was I a happy boy : D Caught them at Fort Canning and salute to the flying Welshmen!!!!

They showed that it’s not the cosmetics and sound engineering that matters in a proper gig but experience, which they have a lot considering 11 years of touring, matters more!!!

The Phonics rounded up a good few months of musical banquet after catching EITS, Incubus and Incubus dan macam macam ada @ Sunburst!!!

Excellente!!!! Mi Amore!!!!

Then over last weekend I was at P.D for a nice getaway…..also caught Tiesto Freedom!!!!! (Insert mel gibson’s voice) tour at Admiral Marina. Not too bad, not too bad but guess I am mentally old of all these Beep!! Beep!!! Beep!!! Music stuff lah or maybe I’m no longer a poser trying to be a rave kaki or whatever lah…….just lazy is all I reckon

But the getaway in itself was very very nice….lovely water chalet at the avillion, best hotel I’ve ever stayed so far which is not a lot really, me is the stingy crash over kind!!! Not to mention the company was amazing!!! : D

On the downside, renovations headaches have no end in sight, sigh!!! Which reminds me, I’ve got to apply for an IKEA store card to help me furnish my place!!! Wah hey!!! They offer 0% repayment schemes up to 24 months for in-store purchases of 1K and above and that is a deal I cannot refuse!!!!!

Nice wan!!!!

All my Transformers will soon have a very chick display case to call home!!!! : D Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!

AMpTiN3sS

2008-03-26T22:52:00.001+08:00

Ok ok, who have I offended? Why am I cursed? Why god why, did you take my amplifier? Take me instead, take me…..Oh god why? Aargh…….

Drama, drama, drama………Just when I started a new piece………Hope I’ll remember the arrangements when the damn thing is fixed. Got to get my Boss Micro BR soon, can’t risk without writing all my stuff down.

On a high note, its been a massive 3 weeks!!!!

Saw Incubus twice in a week(although the played the exact same set : ( can’t blame, I reckon they never expected someone to see them in Singapore and a week later in Malaysia), Sunburst Music Fest really goooood.

Then it was Steve Aoki at Zouk, rocking D.J man. He ish likez the RawKK Star. Loved it, although there was an incident O________o rather enjoyed that bit too……

And lastly, Stereophonics confirmed a gig in Singapore!!!!! Yosh!!!!

“Made me feel like the one, Made me feel like the one….”

Guess that’s life huh, fine balance of ups and downs and its up to you how you wanna look at it. At the end of the day, only you can decide if you are happy or sad. Others influence, but its you that’s in control. Why choose death, when you have life? @___________-o

Letupan Kegembiran Hati ku Di langit Indah

2008-02-20T21:42:00.004+08:00

Ah the bliss…..There is a buzz surrounding me and thanks to Explosion in The Sky, this sense of joy has been boosted to new heights!!!

Their gig in KL last night was great and even though I am not a fan, I have to say I am thoroughly entertained. It also drove me to do the fan boy thing of getting their album at the door and lining up for their autograph : O)

Not to mention, Munaf Rayani, one of the guitarists, has cemented a place in my top axe-man list. His onstage flair and style is mesmerizing and merges effortlessly into the streams of melodies & vibrations generated by the band.

To kung fu fans, try to picture Jacky Chan in his drunken fist persona playing a guitar and that would come close to Munaf’s onstage antics O_____o

With this high gained, I can only imagine how I would feel after Incubus’s gig early March!!!! To top it off I will see them once in Singapore and then again in KL!!!!!

Whooooeeeee!!!! I ish a happy little boy!!!!! Love this feeling

Questions of Solitude

2008-01-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

I finally got everything off my chest which is great because I fell a little bit lighter. On the down side, I realiesed that I write better when I am in a depressive state. Music comes so much easier in that state of mind.

Over the weekend, I tried to complete another track started several weeks back and all I had was a blank.

Total frustration!!!! You feel happy and yet pissed off. Sigh, I guess that is what being alive is about. Now I have to learn how to evoke depressiveness and melancholy or alternatively keep doing things that will depress the hell of out me.

But how do you do something that would depress yourself? I think its near impossible, for me at least!!!

But I will write, I will continue to compose and I will succeed. I wish I will never fall in love, like really in love, because that will make me really happy and will definitely kill my inspiring requirements.

What the hell am I saying? Of course I want to fall in love. All I have to then is just turn ‘pop’!!!

Groan, If i ever turn pop, I will have to kill myself!!! Hey!!! now thats actually quite depressing!!! Hmmmm, this might work........

Untitled

2008-01-14T20:52:00.000+08:00

All it wanted was for the truth to be heard,
A pillar doesn’t move even if it’s not rewarded,
Care and love does not change with answers,
It feeds on the fact that you’ll find happiness,

No, I won’t ask for more and
No, I won’t demand,
How can it be mad if all there is to give?

Time might change perception but stones,
Eventually decay will destroy us, proudly
Standing in the shadows, quietly
Giving and not requesting

No, I won’t ask for more and
No, I won’t demand
How can it be mad if all there is to give?

There is no nothing, just the way you think,
There is always something, just keep looking,

Till that time, It stands, Till that time

The Doors

2008-01-07T21:44:00.001+08:00

Opening and closing doors is a delicate business. Sometimes it’s just plain impossible to know what is behind the doors.

Holding a door open is delicate too. Hold too long and you never know what may get in or get out. Keeping one closed too long and the world may past you by.

Finding the balance between the two is an elusive art and unfortunately it only comes with experience. I regret keeping too many a door closed and regret opening some but that is fine because I start learning the right time to open & close.

Sometimes eternity is not a long time but there are times 14 days are a lifetime.

Tangan Lambat

2008-01-02T22:38:00.001+08:00

Wow i wish i could write lyrics this cryptic. Interpol is fast becoming my number 1 band.

"Slow Hands"

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place
Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
We slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself now

I submit my incentive is romance
I watched the pole dance of the stars
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars
But I am married to your charms & grace
I just go crazy like the good old days
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you
Can you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
Yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spiesOh yeah we slow hands
Killer, for hire you know not yourself

We spies
We slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spiesOh yeah we slow hands
We retire like nobody else

We spies
Intimate slow hands killer
For hire you know not yourself
We spiesIntimate slow hands
You let the face slap around herself

A long December, a short path in comparison

2007-12-31T15:58:00.000+08:00

We make conscious choices in everything we do in life. Sometimes we contemplate our actions and give it more thought than necessary which in turn leads to complication.

Most things are not rocket science and do not require the logic of a nuclear scientist to figure out as they are plain as it is. What you see is what things are and the more you see the more you learn.

If life was not simple, the population of the world would only be a fifth of its current count as most will die from over-analyzing-stress-inducing-cardiac-deconstructing disease.

We act out of kindness, love and care because we simply are good. We curse, condemn & hate because we are no different from other living creatures.

There is no complex calculus involved in any of these, we know, but yet we try to think there is. Simplicity is so apparent that we force ourselves to think there is more then meets the eye.

When in fact, all that meets the eye is in fact all there is that meets the eye. So as the year draws to a close, I ponder upon the last 12 months and try to look at things as it is and spot the times when embracing simplicity would’ve makes things a little more colourful.

Next year, as I grow a little older (unfortunately this is mandatory), I will make sure simplicity prevails and live a little more.

p.s:
The list of things I would love to do in 2008 (this list is not exhaustive):

- Read more and practice writing to improve my literally skills.
- Play the guitar more and learn music with renewed vigour.
- Compose even more and record all existing materials.
- Intensify my fitness regime (it is time to get myself in tip top condition)
- Travel and have proper holidays.
- Spend a little less, save the rest.
- Listen all the time, speak only when required.
- Spend more time with my parents and make them good times.
- Keep coming up with great things to do through out the year

Tupai

2007-12-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

I saw a squirrel in the office today : D

How I wish I was a squirrel. Running round freely oblivious to its surrounding. Free of thoughts and worries. Only bothered about gathering nuts…..

I decided there and then to have some fun and role played as a squirrel.

Each time I had a thought process going, I asked myself ‘What would a squirrel do?’ Errrr, unfortunately the only I answer I came up with each time is ‘Gather nuts’

Who would’ve thought being a squirrel would be so difficult.

Slow Cow Is I

2007-12-18T20:23:00.000+08:00

If i miss the train again, I have none to blame but my silly self!

Good lord, my cynical self is already laughing at my own silliness. Unbelievable behaviour for a grown man!!!

Knock yourself on the head lah you lembu lembap!!!

Whoeee, that felt nice : D. A little self insult always clears my anxiety!!!

Vindicated

2007-11-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself

You are an ass for judging me even before you know me. I am fed up and you and your village can go to hell for all I care.

Dreaming of BOSS Micro BR!!!

2007-11-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

Wow, its months since I wrote. Not really surprising considering my fickle mind and inability to indulge in more then one activity at a time : D

Music is a big part of my life now, bigger then it ever was. I am not great at it but I do try, as hard as I can really. So far, nothing great has come out of it yet but I know if I put my heart and soul into it, I will rock Glastonbury one day!!!

Writing now gets me thinking how shit loads of stuff have changed in so little time. For starters, I can’t believe that I am finally getting my own place soon. My eyes are gleaming with the prospect of actually having my own mini studio/library/study which doesn’t double up as a bed room : D

Which prompts me to remember, I still need to get a BOSS Micro BR!!! Maybe someone wants to give it to me for up coming birthday? : D

How to deal with rubbish?

2007-09-25T17:37:00.000+08:00

It is undeniable that rubbish is part of life. They are almost synonymous as we generate rubbish the moment we are born and will only stop when we die.

Thus it’s unavoidable, dealing with rubbish. It’s just life and although rubbish is not desirable to most, living is still rather popular when I last checked.

In such circumstances, there isn’t much of a choice but to ‘live’ with rubbish. However, rubbish does pile up overtime and has to be dealt with; else it constrains our instincts to continue living.

So occasionally we gather all we deem rubbish and put them into a big black plastic bag and knot the top twice to secure the seal and off to the dumpster we go to unload the unwanted.

Knotting twice is important to prevent unnecessary spills as they can cause unwelcome chores and hassle.

A clean throw away leave no stains that smears the future.

Off I go to the nearest mart to get new waste bags and it’s about time I deal with my rubbish.

Non Flet!!

2007-08-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

I have re-discovered the simple things that I enjoy. Nothing beats an interesting book and an engrossing PC game.

And with the start of the football season looming I am going to be a happy boy for the next couple of months : D

Juventus is back in the Serie A and I’ve got a long and grueling season in front of me. I hope they will do well and regain the scudetto. Purgatory has been served, to the heavens we go. Mi piace Juventus!

I am rather clogged up with work at the moment but as long as I have these little things to come home to I am glad. Life’s never been better. o-0

Complete Idiota!!!

2007-07-25T17:47:00.000+08:00

I have lost focus recently on many things I am passionate about due to one silly thing that keeps nagging my mind. It took me several sleepless nights to finally figure out that what I am doing is extremely wrong!!!

I am rather passionate. I give a lot to the things and people that I love. Too much sometimes that I get tired and sick….

…and I don’t like to feel sick. It is very unproductive and uninspiring. So I made a promise two nights ago to stop pursuing things too hard because eventually we all have too little say in that matter. If it will happen, it fucking will. If not, well bugger then : D

I shall start channeling my ever lasting energy in the right direction. I am passionate about my music and I will strive to make something out of it!!!

I also like making people happy to the point I neglect what makes me happy! Thats fucking silly if you ask me! : D How the fuck do I expect to continue making others happy when I will eventually reach the point of total misery and fucking die of depression and sadness?

It is absolutely hilarious @_#. So I shall now treat myself to ‘happy times’ and screw those that oppose, it’s rather easy really! A couple of beers with proper music or a good football game is all I need.

Hey Ho! Lets Go!

2007-07-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, my piece (previous entry) didn’t win but at least I got good reviews for it!!! The judges said it was very interesting and had a good flow, however it was not picked because it was rather incomprehensible!!!! : D No Shit!!

Even I don’t know what I was writing @_@

Anyways, I am rather excited at the prospect of performing in a dear colleagues wedding tomorrow. To add to the excitement, they picked a song I wrote (tittle: Little Carousel) yay!!! WoW! Big break? : D

Hmmm, let’s see what fate has installed for me? Maybe I WILL make it as a rock star!!!!

This got me to think of several things that I need to get done soon:

a) Write down (properly!) all the stuff I have written so far
b) Hook up with Leon the Professional to set some beats
c) And last but not least….Grow a pair!!!! : D

Mornings (afternoons?) are looking brighter, the air sweeter, the sun warmer and the feeling, priceless!!

Illiterate

2007-07-18T22:41:00.001+08:00

A pleasant surprise as we had a literature contest today!!!

Everyone had to enter a rhyme, poem or whatever to stand a chance of winning a free meal : ) to spice things up we only had TEN minutes to complete our piece! (I believe this was set to ensure we don't take too much time off work really)

So what I came up with in 10 minutes? This is what.....

Trials

You wait for the sign that never comes,
The peace of mind, the subtle change in life,
Forever lost in the midst of drums,
It breaks the soul and we begin to cry.

Hours spent deciphering actions,
Lifetimes pass without comprehension,
Mimicking the eyes of loved ones lost,
Till the winter snows turn to frost.

Deny the truth, deny your roots,
But nothing changes as time goes by,
The blackened heart, dark as soot,
Tormented by self told lies.

Minutes past with every breath,
Breaking the will to traverse the length,
Forever locked in the rusted chest,
Our lives are nothing but a test.

That's my ten minutes worth, hope they don't ask me to explain it because I don't really understand it at all : D

Mi Piace.....

2007-07-11T18:02:00.001+08:00

There comes a time when every one needs a little nudge to get them going in the right direction. I for one need this badly. Lost, I am getting lost. Confused, I am losing my mind!!

It’s about time I get down to spring cleaning my head. Memories, fantasies & tragedies, all swept up and stashed in a dark corner, never again to be opened until the day I die!!!!

Come the end, all shall be remembered to the sound of John Lennon singing ‘In My Life’.

I need the stability, I need the strength,
I need my ability to run the length!

So as Jim Morrison soulfully sang ‘Come on baby, light my fire!’

Io Sono Juventino!!!!

2007-06-29T14:35:00.001+08:00

Juventus Youth

Its official!!! Juventus' Youth Team will be in Malaysia in August for the youth championship organised by the G14. Juve's group is made up of the Qatar Youth Team, PSG and BARCELONA!!!

Unfortunately, all their group games is to be played in Kuantan!!! Sigh, but I am hoping that we will qualify for the latter stages and then I can catch team in K.L!!!

Its probably worth to note that the top teams from europe will be sending their teams too. Most notable are Inter Milan, AC Milan, Man Utd, Chelsea, Bayern Munich, Arsenal and FC Porto.

South American giants Boca will also be present!!!

Its a tough comp, but I know the Juve Boys got what it takes!!!

August is gonna be very interesting : )

Hard Knock On The Head

2007-06-25T16:12:00.000+08:00

And so it goes, I slipped and fell on Sunday knocking my head on the edge of my sofa. I then rested on my bed for four hours just to chill and recover and it all started.

I had too much time on my hands and I started thinking!!! (Oh no, the worst thing to do!!)

Once again I invoked my inner demons and a long battle of ensued!!!! I would like to say that I won but no one ever wins such battles.

I wish life was more like RPGs where I would have a ‘ring of inner demon suppression’ to save me from all this nonsense.

Sigh! You think and think hoping to get the right answer to your own questions but is there such a thing as a right answer? None if you are contradicting yourself.

Worst still when you start answering your own questions intended for others!!! How the hell would you know what people would say?

Unless I have a magical ‘headband of predicting answers’ I don’t think it would do me great to assume so much!

If you want to know, you would have to ask!!! Stop making an ASS out of U and ME!! (This is my ‘ring of wisdom + 4’ doing the talking here)

Kok Kok Kai!

2007-06-20T21:39:00.001+08:00

I use to think that I am a brave person but now I know for a fact that I am chicken shit!

I used to risk loosing my nuts (damn near lost them too!) for the sake of stopping a speeding hockey ball from entering the goal. Now I can’t even bring myself to tell the truth!!!

Sigh! What has happened?

I used to dive into challenges without second thoughts, even when I dislocated my knees, I still dive into challenges. Now I am perfectly healthy but can’t bring myself to do what I should do!!!

Sigh! What has happened?

Smack! Bang! Into a wall!!!

2007-06-11T19:50:00.000+08:00

A week and the changes it brings are amazing!!!!

No more romance but still broke. I guess my luck with women will never change. All is fair in love and war? In my case, definitely not.

Good thing is I’ve got quite a lot of subjects to channel my passion. I guess that’s what gets me up and keeps me going.

Since I can’t seem to get into a proper relationship with a real woman, I should just focus on things that matter more to me at the moment.

Penniless Confuzion

2007-06-05T18:07:00.000+08:00

You never realize how expensive it is to maintain an auto mobile until you’ve had your first accident and the subsequent trip to the mechanics.

Sigh! I am extremely broke but at least my little Vi’s ass is looking as good as new.

To top feeling broke I am having the ‘don’t know what to do next?’ phase once again.

This phase kicks in every single time I have a new romantic interest which is rather odd, considering I’ve got no qualms chatting up random ladies. However, when it comes to the odd romantic interest, I feel like a complete ass. I don’t know what to do, I speak funny (and rather unnatural) or worst case, I completely shut up (which is very unlike ME!)

And then there is the unstoppable scheming through out the day!! Plan A blah-blah-blah, Plan B yada-yada-yada, Plan C oh fuck it!!!!

Shit! I don’t like feeling like this, makes me feel a little pansy like but then a small part of me loves this sensation. Oh bugger! Now I am scattered.

Note to self: Don’t take yourself too seriously because you of all people should know that you are a complete idiot!!!! There its official, I am stupid!

Forza Juve!!!!

2007-05-22T18:40:00.001+08:00

Arezzo 1 - 5 Juventus

The Old Lady Returns!!!

Balloons, Clowns & Confetti......

2007-05-21T18:31:00.000+08:00

It is strange how little things can lift our spirits to unthinkable highs!!!

I have a nice buzz going!!!! I love this feeling, its like when I was little and me dad or mum got me a new toy!!!!

It’s been awhile since I got this warm feeling. I know the week will be good and I know my life can be get better too…..

Nevertheless I will enjoy the buzz as it is and not banking on any chickens before the eggs hatch, I’ve had enough experiences in the past know better!!!

I am lucky to have some really nice mates, although I guess sometimes they get things done just to stop me bickering!!!

To top things off, JUVENTUS is back in the SERIA A. Its official, Juve are the champions of the Seria B!!!!!

Bestest Monday in recent times!!!! I am going to do a song and a jig now!!!!

What's There Not to Like?

2007-05-10T18:45:00.000+08:00

What do I hate about my life? That’s a great question to wake up with!! You know sometimes we wake up with a lingering question in our heads, such as what am I doing today? Or will she love me? And things that sort, but today I woke up to “What do I hate about of my life?” Bloody hell, that’s not a very nice thing to wake up to, is it? I mean I can think of a few more unpleasant things that a person can wake up to, but if ever there was a list, this would make top five.

Seeing I’ve no choice but to explore the question, let me start of by stating that I feel hate is a word that is used too casually in such instances. People often say things like ‘I hate my life”, “I hate that car” & “I hate this, I hate that, I hate corn, I hate fish,”. Why can’t we just say “I don’t like....”? Hate is very strong and not to be used loosely. For instance ‘I hate my life’, well go jump off a building then and stop whining. I don’t mean to offend any suicidal individuals with this statement, you off all people have the right to say you hate your life when you have somewhat decided to end it.

So now back to my situation, I would re-phrase my spontaneously generated question to “What do I not like about my life?”

To start of I don’t like my current status a lot. What’s there not to like? Well I am miserably (not very much though) single, not making as much money as I would like, spending too much to fast, losing my friends, the fact I don’t feel to disturb even though I am loosing my friends and I keep falling for people that I should know the chances of something fruitful blooming is near zero.

Wow! That’s a lot not to like. And to top it all of, after thinking of the things above, I am not bothered too much really. That I don’t like! I should learn to take care of myself a little more. I take my self for granted so often that I’ve come to accept most of the above without even making an attempt to change.

That’s not very nice. For starters, I should get myself a partner that appreciates me. Not those that take me for granted and only beckon when they are in need. I don’t need some one fancy, just some one real. You know, someone who is honest and some one who will be a friend (and a little more : p).

I am not that bad. I think I am kind of funny and easy going. I am not the most handsome bloke ever, but I get by. So why don’t I deserve some one nice then? You see I take my self for granted so much that I don’t bother looking out for nice partners. I always get myself attracted to those that are either too damn far away or those who feels I am inadequate and they require a few more partners. Not that I am complaining about them, because it is their life and their choices, its just I don’t like myself for putting me in such situations.

I just wished I could turn back the clock and jump of off a photograph of myself taken in 1999 and treat my self a little better. I guess its no use dwelling on such fantasies but let’s start working on tomorrow. In the end it doesn’t matter what I achieve but at least I can tell my self I’ve had a damn good ride.

Hush!

2007-04-27T19:15:00.001+08:00

I have a secret. A secret, I’ve long decided, that I will never share with another soul. A secret, if shared, I’m afraid will be the end of the world as I know it.

A secret, in recent times, I’ve long to break. And yet at the precise moment that I loose my integrity, I thank god, I refrain.

This, I believe, is due to my belief that every man should have his secrets. Only then will one truly live. For a truly unique life is defined by its secrets.

Keeping a secret gives one a satisfaction of knowing something others do not. Something we can hold onto. Something another can never take away. Something I truly appreciate in life.

But to keep a secret is no menial feat. As secrets, like sentient beings, has its own life.

When a secret is first conceived, it is much similar to a newborn child. New secrets are rash, totally incomprehensible & eager to announce its arrival to the world.

And slowly but surely, as time passes, and as sure as a child would grow, our secrets gets older. They then tend to be more docile, less adventurous & often forgetful. In some humorous instances, they even forget themselves.

It is up to us to keep our secrets healthy as we do with our physique. Ah, but one must beware, as just as much as we are our own worst enemy, we too are the worst enemy of our secrets.

Many times too often, we let loose our tongue & bring swift death to our precious little secrets. And like most things we treasure, we do not realize the extensiveness of their value till they are gone forever. Like life, once it’s gone, it’s never coming back.

So my friends, treasure your secrets. Be a friend to them & somewhere down the road they may prove to be the little things that gets us through.

I’ve vowed to love my secret to the bone. I will cherish her till the very last second. The END?

Who's taken the Jam out of my doughnut?

2007-04-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

Each year, there would be several occasions where I will hit a certain low in my life. I am so accustomed to it that I can sense whenever “it” approaches.

Now, I am not complaining about this as I do realize that, theoretically, I should have control of my emotions.

Yet I find it intriguing on why I have these lows and continue having them. I should be able to tell myself to have fun and not bother when it happens. I am the master of my life, so why can’t I be happy all the time, if that is what I really want.

This triggered my curiosity and after several extended ciggie breaks, I have come to a conclusion that I have a subconscious part of myself that loves this feeling.

Now before you judge me, I have also concluded that at least two thirds of me am very much inclined towards jovialness & happiness. I do fancy having laughs and look at things with a rather positive mindset.

So how does this all tie back to the misery dependant monster then? Well I am in the opinion that everything requires a certain balance. Just like night and day, a male & female, rain & shine, sex & self pleasure and etc, our lives need balance too.

It is impossible to be happy without being sad. Some may say this is preposterous but how would one know if they are happy if they feel happy all the time? If we feel happy all the time we would be indifference to the being happy. See my point?

So now I feel a little better as I have embraced a new part of me and accepted ‘her’ into this wonderfully strange and funny life of mine, my mistress of misery.

“How I miss your ranting, Do you miss my all time lows?” – Emily Haines on Combat Baby

“Yes I do.” – Herbzzz from The Electric Sky

The Electric Sky

2007-04-25T16:50:00.000+08:00

Can you explain to me now?
If you're still able,
It's to late for me now,
There's a hole in the earth.....

-by Encik Chino Moreno-

This song is going on and on in my head! I wonder if it is because i've been listening to it everyday on my journey to & fro work : p

Which brings me to a new Job perk I've just discovered @_@.......

All this arranging and sending my staff to London means I have easy access to Albums that are easily available in the UK !!!! yeah! I am a bit slow to have only realised this now.

Oh i am so looking forward to get my copies of Albert Hammond Jr's (Guitarist from the Strokes) solo album and Origin of Symmetry by M.U.S.E.

I did find a copy of Origin once in Rock Corner but I regret I did not buy it straight away as it is so difficult to get a copy now.

My drive time is looking brighter : p

Tupai Memang Pandai Lompat....

2007-04-17T20:44:00.002+08:00

Aiyo, sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself? It is so apparent what I have to do tapi bila masa tu sampai, tak boleh buat pulak…..

Apa I doing, I don’t know…

Why oh why? Is there a cure for this disease?

Strain this chaos turn it into light
I've got to see you one last night
Before the lions take their share
Leave us in pieces, scattered everywhere

You're cinematic razor sharp
A welcome arrow through the heart
Under your skin feels like home
Electric shocks on aching bones

There is a darkness deep in you
A frightening magic I cling to

It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have

****excerpt from You Are All I Have by PatrolSalji****

I am a Penguin in a Zoo......

2007-04-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

I found out last night, at the Juice annual launch, that apparently I am referred to the ‘CB dude’ by colleagues of a mate of mine. CB = Cibai, due to my half Chinese (Chi) & half Punjabi (bai) heritage.

Wow! I think more people know me by The Cibai then my actual name LOL. Maybe, I should have a band of made up of Cibai’s and call ourselves The Cibai. Cibai Rocks!!

This triggered fond memories during my drive home from Chynna Bar. It is funny how people tend to always have nicknames for others. Can’t deny I am guilty of it.

Thinking back to my high school days, we all had nick names for every bloody one @_@. Hmmm, the following are some of mine which I still remember:

Cibai - the top of the lot, guess it’s the easiest to relate to and easy on the tongue lol, not to mention there where not a lot of real Cibai around @_#

Singh Babi - given by a certain Chinese Gorilla stuck in the middle of Melbourne

Vela Paandi - Tamil for White Pig, given by my dearest mate Scavenger Joe aka Jaya. I used to be fairer then most of my mates. Its not that I am damn fair or wat, its just that most my mates Indians lol

Penguin - My classmates called me this when they saw my feet during footie. I’ve got a big body but small feet. This triggered some of those small feet = small wiener jokes, which I believe to be untrue.

These are the only ones I remember but I am sure there where lots more. Hmm, how I used to so damn pissed off when people call me those names but now I think back and laugh. Funny times. I wished I had the super power to recall everyones Nicknames & the story behind it, sure damn kaww funny.

I feel a little nostalgic as I have lost touch with most of the guys which called me those names. So this is a dedication to all the Binatangs, 67s & Colour Wolves that I spent a good 11 years of my life with.

p.s: This is a disclaimer. The names above may only be used by the buggers that attended the same shit hole educational institution as myself. All others may only use the 1st on the list which I forgive due to the punt, you sick twats! ha ha ha ha!

Blackbird Singing In The Dead Of The Night...

2007-04-04T19:51:00.000+08:00

Take this broken wings and learn to fly, All your life, You are only waiting for this moment to be free.....

I am free of shackles that bounds others, I am free of the fog that blinds some, I am free and I am me.

I see the world the way I want to, I feel my surroundings they way I prefer, I seek and I will find the littles joys I like.

I could be lonely and yet I am happy, I could be sick but yet I am jolly. I guess it all falls into place when i accepted the experience of life for what it is and not try to force what will not be.

some for better not forever......

p.s: I need to get off now, very tired and stressed. Mesti relaks!

Kereta Kecil Ku Menangis

2007-04-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

Looks like my little darling will have to wait for her cosmetic surgery to be done, sigh! I was planning to go back to Ipoh this weekend considering the Bank Holidays to get my car fixed but I was informed this morning that it would take at least 3 DAYS of work!!

Geez, I did not realize that much time is required to paint a bumper and get it fixed. Guess if you can’t get a good job quick and I can rest my mind knowing that I am not getting ripped off by my mechanic. He better not considering I’ve known him for the last 8 years. At least I will get a long relaxing weekend leading to the Kanye West gig. Since I am not going back, I won’t need to rush back on Sunday morning.

With my current run of luck, I am afraid to travel on the highway else my sweethearts bum gets violated again.

I can't live in a Yellow Submarine!

2007-03-29T18:38:00.000+08:00

Currently I am spending a lot of my free time at home playing S.T.A.L.K.E.R and Silent Hunter 3. The former is a FPS based around Chernobyl and it gives a Fallout 2 vibe, which is great considering its a FPS. I like atmospheric games as they tend to leave a deep impression.

As for the latter, it is a submarine sim. Arguably the best sub sim out in the market. Playing these games concurrently, I have come to realize I suck at commanding Submarines (Damn, there goes my dream of being a Sub Commander!). Shit! I can’t even past the training mission man.

Well I can maneuver the sub around and use its aerial & artillery guns but I get stuck when it comes to getting a torpedo to hit its mark. What good is a submarine if it can get its torpedoes to hit?

It sucks when one of your dream jobs gets crushed! #_#

Last Night, I dined in Hell.....

2007-03-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, I got to see frank miller’s 300 on the big screen. I was very impressed with the visuals. I particularly love comics’ adaptation that remains true to the source. First Sin City and now 300, I guess miller’s cinematic style of drawing makes it easier for producers to adapt his books into films. Unlike those Marvel cash cows, 300 hits the right spots and never tries to complicate or simplify things.

The entire film is an absolute blood bath. I would imagine that was how the Battle of Thermopylae would have been. Oh, and from the expressions of a certain someone, I am sure the fairer sex will enjoy the movie too for the Greek Gods physique of the Spartans.

I seriously wish that they will make a Dark Knight Returns movie or maybe another Sin City flick.

Tembak Tembak Sabtu Pagi

2007-03-19T15:34:00.000+08:00

Oh how I like pain. On Saturday morning, me and my rakan-rakan sekerja shot each other in a session of paintball. Exciting giler man. Finally I quenched my desire to be a soldier @_@.

There were sixteen of us and we were split into 3 teams. Although my team came in last, we still did ourselves proud by shooting the ass out of the others ; p. I was an easy target since I had a bright orange overall on #_@ silly me! lol

Sigh! Good times looking at the 2 bruises on my arm and memering those fun moments. Must get L.C to go paintball with me one of these days, then I can shoot her silly @_@ Muahahaha!

Tidur Tak Lena....

2007-03-15T18:54:00.000+08:00

Today marks two nights of stay at my new place #_#

I have not been getting enough sleep, still not used to the new environtment. sigh!
Well at least it is nearer to my god forsaken workplace so I can get up a little later and reach home a little earlier ; )

There is also a Gym in the place so now I have no excuse not to get fit as a fiddler on a roof.

Odd Ballness....

2007-03-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

Thanks to L.C I have to list 6 weird things about my self so here goes:

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. Every time I am in an elevator alone, which is very often considering my working hours and the fact that I stay in an apartment, I cannot resist singing out loud. Of course I’ve had my share of humiliating incidents when the lift doors open and I was singing on top of my lungs and all the people waiting to get into the lift stared at me like I was a loony @_@

2. I detest egg yolk, whether it’s fully cooked or runny. It’s not like I am health conscious, I just hate its smell & taste.

3. I talk to imaginary individuals whenever I am out shopping or frolicking alone. I even talk out loud to them when I am alone in my room.

4. I act as though I am a real football club manager whenever I play “Football Manager” on my P.C. I will literally stand and gesture to the players on the imaginary field in front of me and shout instructions out, eg: “Come on Lads! One goal will do it!” or “Oi, ref. Are you blind? That’s not offside.” Sometimes I add an Italian accent to it complete with hand gestures @_#

5. I can only truly sleep with a blanket no matter how hot it is. I need the sensation of a fabric covering my body for me to fall asleep.

6. I am not sure if this counts as weird but people in my work place thinks I am serious whenever I joke and vice versa. Maybe they are the weird ones *_*

Come to think of it, I am not that weird. I know weirder people : p

Anyways I don't think I have 6 individuals (I can only think of 4) to tag for this but here are the ones that might read my blog:

1. Deathberry
2. AhJia
3. Stan FOo
4. Kenny

Knock yourself out guys. Think of this as an oppurtunity to touch yourself (giggle) @_@

Electric Curse

2007-03-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

I’ve noticed some people are just plain rude. On Saturday, I was trying to explain to a sales person at a P.C hardware shop that the card he sold us was faulty and he barked at me implying that I was stupid and did not know how to use the card. What an asshole!

At least there was a humorous side to the entire episode, L.C and her bad luck with P.C parts is unbelievable @_@

The curse is so infectious that the new mouse I bought was faulty. Darn, I hope I’ve not been Hexed for life.

On the face of the Moon

2007-03-08T16:14:00.000+08:00

OMG, I just realised that I can log onto Blogger from the office. Geez, why didn’t I try doing so earlier. Now I can start yapping whenever I have nothing to do.

Just to sum up the last month or so, CNY came and went, JO came and went but my life is still in a standstill @_#

I will be moving to a new place this weekend. I am a little sad to leave my old place. Guess I have grown too attached to it.

On the other hand I am looking forward to the change. Now that I have got a new guitar and the complete works, I am hoping to turn my new room into a mini studio. Who knows I might have enough stuff to cut an album @_@ LOL who am I kidding?

My aspiration to become a rock star was reignited after the recent ‘MUSE’ gig. It was arguably one of the best gig I have attended. Matthew Bellamy showed tremendous skills on the guitar and the piano. It is no surprise that their shows were given the tag ‘Best show on the earth’ for the year 2006.

Collide

2007-02-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

Josephine came & went. Sigh!

At least it was great to see her again after all these years. Sometimes, we will only realise how much we miss someone when they are standing right in front of us.

How i wish i can see her everday.

"to see you when i wake up, is a gift i didn't think could be real"

"you do something to me, that i can't explain"

"so would i be out of line if i said, I miss you"

Sigh, i guess i should go with the flow & live for the moment. At least i won't feel to melancholy then.

"i know i will see you again, whether far or soon"

"but i need you to know, that i care and i miss you"

Finally.....

2007-02-08T02:29:00.000+08:00

After a frustrating week, my internet connection is back. I never would have thought that i would miss being online so much. Its scary how much we depend on the internet....

And to top it off, Lime Wire is working again. Yippee!

to the left, to the left....yes finally i can listen to Beyonce all day.....Yes, yes i like Beyonce. She da bomb man...and irreplaceable rocks.....

Its funny how i found a new friend at work. We been working together for the last 2 years and only now our friendship kicked off. She is nice, i misunderstood her at first, but its crystal clear now.

At least i've got a new click to paaarty with. Plus she got some pretty fun & gorgeous girl friends. wink! wink!

So to new found friends, old ones that are always there for me and Beyonce! cheers

p.s: i've put a tad bit of weight recently, gotta start dieting before i turn into Azamat.

Why does it always rain on me?

2007-01-24T23:30:00.001+08:00

No matter how hard i try to hide it, the little rain cloud is still in me. My heart is drenched. Sigh, love is not for me. I shall wait, wait till that one day when it beckons.

On another note, i have converted a colleague of mine to become a comic freak. He has already started cursing for making him spend more.

I guess he can't help it, since one of bosses is a big comic fan too.....

Comeback Baby

2007-01-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

We used to leave the blue lights on and there was a beat
Ever since you have been gone it's all caffeine-free
Faux punk fatigues
Said it all before
They try to kick it, their feet fall asleep
Get no harm done no
None of them want to fight me

Combat baby come back baby
Fight off the lethargy
Don't go quietly
Combat baby
Said you would never give up easy
Combat baby come back

Get back in town
I wanna paint it black
Wanna get around
Easy living crowd so flat
Said it all before
They try to kick it, their feet fall asleep
I want to be wrong but
No one here wants to fight me like you do

Combat baby come back baby
Fight off the lethargy
Don't go quietly
Combat baby
Said you would never give up easy
Combat baby come back

I try to be so nice
Compromise
Who gets it good?
Every mighty mild seventies child
Every mighty mild seventies child
Beats me

Do doo doo doo

Combat baby come back baby
Combat baby come back
Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye baby
Combat baby come back
How I miss your ranting
Do you miss my all time lows

"Combat Baby" by Metric

Volcano

2007-01-17T00:44:00.000+08:00

Its been 5 bloody days. Five bloody days. It has never taken this long before. I used to be able to calm myself in a couple of days. Oh hell! whats wrong with me?

Have i used up my happy beans? Why won't it stop bothering me? I guess i still want to hear the truth? Six years! well at least be frank with me.

Someone build a teleporter please. Bridge the distances in the world. Sigh! i reckon it won't make a difference anyways.

I am a tad bit sad and very the ANGRY!

Fuck! to top it all off, i found TERMITES. In my ROOM. I live in a fuckin APARTMENT! i didn't know termites can fly.

And to add fuel to fire, they ate my COMICS! Sin City and Kwaidan gone to the dogs!

Damn bad luck!

note to self: write to National Geographic, i believe i discovered termite paratroopers.

Far Far Away....

2007-01-14T16:18:00.000+08:00

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

And I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
I just wanted to hold

"Starlight" by Muse

Huh?

2007-01-12T03:58:00.000+08:00

Apparently i have misunderstood the intentions of a certain someone, true enough we can "love" our friends a lot.

If that was it, why all the other talk, why mislead me? Sigh, I guess i jumped to conclusions right at the start. Bad habits die hard.

Well at least its out of the way now.I come to realise why i have never had a decent relationship. It takes a lot of effort and time. The good stuff are great but the opposite is rather tedious.

I reckon i should stick to what i do best, do jokes & never give advice. That way, if it returns to haunt me, i am entitled to say 'i was joking!', literally.....

I am such a twat! lol

p.s: MUSE is coming to town and i've got tickets! Yooosh!

Ronda Ronda Kotaraya

2007-01-07T19:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i drove my 2 good mates, melor & alcee around for the 1st time ever! I felt really good to finally being able to return the favor to them. In the past, they have been very kind to drive me about.

It was a really uplifting experience and the joy was badly needed due to unforseen circumstances.

On another note, a giant ferris wheel was built at Titiwangsa lake garden. This is awfully near my place and have been causing a massive jam for the last 2 days.

Geez! i wish the planners had some brains. The main road out of my area is extremely fragile. A slight influx can cause a massive congestion.

p.s: i never get ferris wheels anyways, what's so fun about it? its not as though it is as huge as the London Eye, so why bother?

Another Year

2007-01-04T01:32:00.000+08:00

Another year past, another one to look forward too....Have not been able to post as much as i like to due to the internet connection disruptions.

Sigh! to sum up my last week or so, i managed to sleep through Christmas and New Years eve for the first time! LOL.

The high of 2006 would be.....getting my Car, yippee! It was a pleasant surprise really. It was delivered to me on the 30th of December. Oh how much i enjoy driving my MyVi around : >

Guess it will all change after awhile. The traffic will grow on you. Sigh!

Sex, Sugar, Blood & Magik

2006-12-20T06:51:00.000+08:00

Damn streamyx has been down all weekend! sigh, when are we gonna get decent broadband huh?

Anyways, had a great day out at the 7th installment Malaysia's annual rock fest "Rock the World!"

Had a great time with my old buddy & band mate li on, melor & nelz. Rather enjoyed the well extablished bands like Lo, Koffin Kanser, Sil Khannaz & The Official but was disapointed with the new acts though. I forsee a belak future for local rock bands. Sigh.

Things are not too bright crossborder as well. A singaporean band called Force Vomit is literally that although electrico did show some potential.

Overall, not the best local gig (could be due to butterfingers not performing) but still fun watching the veterans scream their lungs out. Long live Koffin Kanser!

Good news is Muse are set for a gig in K.L on the 25th of February. Now lets hope incubus will grace us with their presence again. Maybe the killers can tag along too. Wishful thinking.

Hacking

2006-12-15T02:26:00.000+08:00

I discovered a rather fun free online hacking game called slavehack. You basically have to defend your online (in-game) computer from other hackers whilst trying to crack other PCs.

Once done, you can upload virusses to help you spam and make money. You will also have to search the 'net' to locate softwares that will help you protect yourself and improve your cracking capabilities.

For those budding hackers (or wannabees like me :>), give it a go at the following url http://www.slavehack.com

Happy Hacking.....

Forza Bianconeri

2006-12-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

Finnaly, top spot......Juventus 1 - 0 Verona. Serie A ciao! Serie B arrive derci. The day will come soon.

Animal Farm

2006-12-09T02:35:00.000+08:00

Visited my favourite place in K.L today, Kinokuniya Yea! Oh i love that place. Books & Comics galore. Not forgetting the occasional hot "comic reading" chick : >

I got me self the new volume of Deathnote and also the first 2 volumes of Fables. Damn, Vertigo titles never fails to deliver.

Fable is about the fairy tales characters living in New York city. The likes of Snow White, The Big Bad Wolf, Jack (and the beanstalk) and many others. It is great reading about how the characters from your childhood copes with the world today. Ever wonder what happened to Snow White after she hook up with Prince Charming? or What happened to Beauty & the Beast? Read Fables & you would be surprised.

And being a Vertigo title, the story is strictly for mature readers. Just like 100 Bullets and DMZ, once you pick Fables up, you can't put it down. Sigh! so much for budgetting....

The Day I Was Born....

2006-12-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

I had a great time today, managed to sit, eat & blabber with my mates on my birthday. Good change considering i've been rather unwell in the past week or so....stress related wor according to the docs.

Another good year past, hoping to have another great one ahead. Definetly feel older and a little wiser considering the leason i learned today. I will no longer say "make love" but "have sex". Geez, i try to be polite sometimes & shit happens. I reckon i should stay my usual rude self : >

Well, Jerusalem beckons & my archers itches for another volley of fiery death upon my enemies. Godspeed.

Medieval Football Total War 2 Manager 7

2006-12-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

Just got myself two great games, Medieval Total War 2 & Football Manager 7. This has caused me to spend most of my time leading knights and footballers across europe.

Forza Juve ! & Long Live King Herbie !

I somehow forsee how the rest my year will end : >

p.s: Can't wait for my darlin to visit in February too.

Beep...Beep...Beep...Kereta Kecil ku berbunyi...

2006-11-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

I just got back from a quick trip back home. Tiring but it was fun. Its always fun to see my mom and dad and my "up town" cousin from Honk Kong. He always say the funniest stuff and act real weird at times. That's my family, they all weird LOL.

The high of the trip would be my car loan finalisation with my dad. YES ! finnally i would be getting a car of my own. A lovely little MyVi. I can't wait to drive my mates around town.

Downer is i would have to start paying petrol and toll. Not to mention the maintainance, sigh!

Aiyo, win some lose some lor....

"Sweet Little Car....Mine will be Silver Though : >"

Up Link

2006-11-24T04:21:00.000+08:00

I have finally got "connected" at home...yeah, yeah, yeah!

As such, i've decided to start a new page for myself. It's been donkey years since i post anything online. Hope i will be able to keep this up....