A week and the changes it brings are amazing!!!!
No more romance but still broke. I guess my luck with women will never change. All is fair in love and war? In my case, definitely not.
Good thing is I’ve got quite a lot of subjects to channel my passion. I guess that’s what gets me up and keeps me going.
Since I can’t seem to get into a proper relationship with a real woman, I should just focus on things that matter more to me at the moment.
Monday, 11 June 2007
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Penniless Confuzion
You never realize how expensive it is to maintain an auto mobile until you’ve had your first accident and the subsequent trip to the mechanics.
Sigh! I am extremely broke but at least my little Vi’s ass is looking as good as new.
To top feeling broke I am having the ‘don’t know what to do next?’ phase once again.
This phase kicks in every single time I have a new romantic interest which is rather odd, considering I’ve got no qualms chatting up random ladies. However, when it comes to the odd romantic interest, I feel like a complete ass. I don’t know what to do, I speak funny (and rather unnatural) or worst case, I completely shut up (which is very unlike ME!)
And then there is the unstoppable scheming through out the day!! Plan A blah-blah-blah, Plan B yada-yada-yada, Plan C oh fuck it!!!!
Shit! I don’t like feeling like this, makes me feel a little pansy like but then a small part of me loves this sensation. Oh bugger! Now I am scattered.
Note to self: Don’t take yourself too seriously because you of all people should know that you are a complete idiot!!!! There its official, I am stupid!
Sigh! I am extremely broke but at least my little Vi’s ass is looking as good as new.
To top feeling broke I am having the ‘don’t know what to do next?’ phase once again.
This phase kicks in every single time I have a new romantic interest which is rather odd, considering I’ve got no qualms chatting up random ladies. However, when it comes to the odd romantic interest, I feel like a complete ass. I don’t know what to do, I speak funny (and rather unnatural) or worst case, I completely shut up (which is very unlike ME!)
And then there is the unstoppable scheming through out the day!! Plan A blah-blah-blah, Plan B yada-yada-yada, Plan C oh fuck it!!!!
Shit! I don’t like feeling like this, makes me feel a little pansy like but then a small part of me loves this sensation. Oh bugger! Now I am scattered.
Note to self: Don’t take yourself too seriously because you of all people should know that you are a complete idiot!!!! There its official, I am stupid!
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
Monday, 21 May 2007
Balloons, Clowns & Confetti......
It is strange how little things can lift our spirits to unthinkable highs!!!
I have a nice buzz going!!!! I love this feeling, its like when I was little and me dad or mum got me a new toy!!!!
It’s been awhile since I got this warm feeling. I know the week will be good and I know my life can be get better too…..
Nevertheless I will enjoy the buzz as it is and not banking on any chickens before the eggs hatch, I’ve had enough experiences in the past know better!!!
I am lucky to have some really nice mates, although I guess sometimes they get things done just to stop me bickering!!!
To top things off, JUVENTUS is back in the SERIA A. Its official, Juve are the champions of the Seria B!!!!!
Bestest Monday in recent times!!!! I am going to do a song and a jig now!!!!
I have a nice buzz going!!!! I love this feeling, its like when I was little and me dad or mum got me a new toy!!!!
It’s been awhile since I got this warm feeling. I know the week will be good and I know my life can be get better too…..
Nevertheless I will enjoy the buzz as it is and not banking on any chickens before the eggs hatch, I’ve had enough experiences in the past know better!!!
I am lucky to have some really nice mates, although I guess sometimes they get things done just to stop me bickering!!!
To top things off, JUVENTUS is back in the SERIA A. Its official, Juve are the champions of the Seria B!!!!!
Bestest Monday in recent times!!!! I am going to do a song and a jig now!!!!
Thursday, 10 May 2007
What's There Not to Like?
What do I hate about my life? That’s a great question to wake up with!! You know sometimes we wake up with a lingering question in our heads, such as what am I doing today? Or will she love me? And things that sort, but today I woke up to “What do I hate about of my life?” Bloody hell, that’s not a very nice thing to wake up to, is it? I mean I can think of a few more unpleasant things that a person can wake up to, but if ever there was a list, this would make top five.
Seeing I’ve no choice but to explore the question, let me start of by stating that I feel hate is a word that is used too casually in such instances. People often say things like ‘I hate my life”, “I hate that car” & “I hate this, I hate that, I hate corn, I hate fish,”. Why can’t we just say “I don’t like....”? Hate is very strong and not to be used loosely. For instance ‘I hate my life’, well go jump off a building then and stop whining. I don’t mean to offend any suicidal individuals with this statement, you off all people have the right to say you hate your life when you have somewhat decided to end it.
So now back to my situation, I would re-phrase my spontaneously generated question to “What do I not like about my life?”
To start of I don’t like my current status a lot. What’s there not to like? Well I am miserably (not very much though) single, not making as much money as I would like, spending too much to fast, losing my friends, the fact I don’t feel to disturb even though I am loosing my friends and I keep falling for people that I should know the chances of something fruitful blooming is near zero.
Wow! That’s a lot not to like. And to top it all of, after thinking of the things above, I am not bothered too much really. That I don’t like! I should learn to take care of myself a little more. I take my self for granted so often that I’ve come to accept most of the above without even making an attempt to change.
That’s not very nice. For starters, I should get myself a partner that appreciates me. Not those that take me for granted and only beckon when they are in need. I don’t need some one fancy, just some one real. You know, someone who is honest and some one who will be a friend (and a little more : p).
I am not that bad. I think I am kind of funny and easy going. I am not the most handsome bloke ever, but I get by. So why don’t I deserve some one nice then? You see I take my self for granted so much that I don’t bother looking out for nice partners. I always get myself attracted to those that are either too damn far away or those who feels I am inadequate and they require a few more partners. Not that I am complaining about them, because it is their life and their choices, its just I don’t like myself for putting me in such situations.
I just wished I could turn back the clock and jump of off a photograph of myself taken in 1999 and treat my self a little better. I guess its no use dwelling on such fantasies but let’s start working on tomorrow. In the end it doesn’t matter what I achieve but at least I can tell my self I’ve had a damn good ride.
Seeing I’ve no choice but to explore the question, let me start of by stating that I feel hate is a word that is used too casually in such instances. People often say things like ‘I hate my life”, “I hate that car” & “I hate this, I hate that, I hate corn, I hate fish,”. Why can’t we just say “I don’t like....”? Hate is very strong and not to be used loosely. For instance ‘I hate my life’, well go jump off a building then and stop whining. I don’t mean to offend any suicidal individuals with this statement, you off all people have the right to say you hate your life when you have somewhat decided to end it.
So now back to my situation, I would re-phrase my spontaneously generated question to “What do I not like about my life?”
To start of I don’t like my current status a lot. What’s there not to like? Well I am miserably (not very much though) single, not making as much money as I would like, spending too much to fast, losing my friends, the fact I don’t feel to disturb even though I am loosing my friends and I keep falling for people that I should know the chances of something fruitful blooming is near zero.
Wow! That’s a lot not to like. And to top it all of, after thinking of the things above, I am not bothered too much really. That I don’t like! I should learn to take care of myself a little more. I take my self for granted so often that I’ve come to accept most of the above without even making an attempt to change.
That’s not very nice. For starters, I should get myself a partner that appreciates me. Not those that take me for granted and only beckon when they are in need. I don’t need some one fancy, just some one real. You know, someone who is honest and some one who will be a friend (and a little more : p).
I am not that bad. I think I am kind of funny and easy going. I am not the most handsome bloke ever, but I get by. So why don’t I deserve some one nice then? You see I take my self for granted so much that I don’t bother looking out for nice partners. I always get myself attracted to those that are either too damn far away or those who feels I am inadequate and they require a few more partners. Not that I am complaining about them, because it is their life and their choices, its just I don’t like myself for putting me in such situations.
I just wished I could turn back the clock and jump of off a photograph of myself taken in 1999 and treat my self a little better. I guess its no use dwelling on such fantasies but let’s start working on tomorrow. In the end it doesn’t matter what I achieve but at least I can tell my self I’ve had a damn good ride.
Friday, 27 April 2007
Hush!
I have a secret. A secret, I’ve long decided, that I will never share with another soul. A secret, if shared, I’m afraid will be the end of the world as I know it.
A secret, in recent times, I’ve long to break. And yet at the precise moment that I loose my integrity, I thank god, I refrain.
This, I believe, is due to my belief that every man should have his secrets. Only then will one truly live. For a truly unique life is defined by its secrets.
Keeping a secret gives one a satisfaction of knowing something others do not. Something we can hold onto. Something another can never take away. Something I truly appreciate in life.
But to keep a secret is no menial feat. As secrets, like sentient beings, has its own life.
When a secret is first conceived, it is much similar to a newborn child. New secrets are rash, totally incomprehensible & eager to announce its arrival to the world.
And slowly but surely, as time passes, and as sure as a child would grow, our secrets gets older. They then tend to be more docile, less adventurous & often forgetful. In some humorous instances, they even forget themselves.
It is up to us to keep our secrets healthy as we do with our physique. Ah, but one must beware, as just as much as we are our own worst enemy, we too are the worst enemy of our secrets.
Many times too often, we let loose our tongue & bring swift death to our precious little secrets. And like most things we treasure, we do not realize the extensiveness of their value till they are gone forever. Like life, once it’s gone, it’s never coming back.
So my friends, treasure your secrets. Be a friend to them & somewhere down the road they may prove to be the little things that gets us through.
I’ve vowed to love my secret to the bone. I will cherish her till the very last second. The END?
A secret, in recent times, I’ve long to break. And yet at the precise moment that I loose my integrity, I thank god, I refrain.
This, I believe, is due to my belief that every man should have his secrets. Only then will one truly live. For a truly unique life is defined by its secrets.
Keeping a secret gives one a satisfaction of knowing something others do not. Something we can hold onto. Something another can never take away. Something I truly appreciate in life.
But to keep a secret is no menial feat. As secrets, like sentient beings, has its own life.
When a secret is first conceived, it is much similar to a newborn child. New secrets are rash, totally incomprehensible & eager to announce its arrival to the world.
And slowly but surely, as time passes, and as sure as a child would grow, our secrets gets older. They then tend to be more docile, less adventurous & often forgetful. In some humorous instances, they even forget themselves.
It is up to us to keep our secrets healthy as we do with our physique. Ah, but one must beware, as just as much as we are our own worst enemy, we too are the worst enemy of our secrets.
Many times too often, we let loose our tongue & bring swift death to our precious little secrets. And like most things we treasure, we do not realize the extensiveness of their value till they are gone forever. Like life, once it’s gone, it’s never coming back.
So my friends, treasure your secrets. Be a friend to them & somewhere down the road they may prove to be the little things that gets us through.
I’ve vowed to love my secret to the bone. I will cherish her till the very last second. The END?
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Who's taken the Jam out of my doughnut?
Each year, there would be several occasions where I will hit a certain low in my life. I am so accustomed to it that I can sense whenever “it” approaches.
Now, I am not complaining about this as I do realize that, theoretically, I should have control of my emotions.
Yet I find it intriguing on why I have these lows and continue having them. I should be able to tell myself to have fun and not bother when it happens. I am the master of my life, so why can’t I be happy all the time, if that is what I really want.
This triggered my curiosity and after several extended ciggie breaks, I have come to a conclusion that I have a subconscious part of myself that loves this feeling.
Now before you judge me, I have also concluded that at least two thirds of me am very much inclined towards jovialness & happiness. I do fancy having laughs and look at things with a rather positive mindset.
So how does this all tie back to the misery dependant monster then? Well I am in the opinion that everything requires a certain balance. Just like night and day, a male & female, rain & shine, sex & self pleasure and etc, our lives need balance too.
It is impossible to be happy without being sad. Some may say this is preposterous but how would one know if they are happy if they feel happy all the time? If we feel happy all the time we would be indifference to the being happy. See my point?
So now I feel a little better as I have embraced a new part of me and accepted ‘her’ into this wonderfully strange and funny life of mine, my mistress of misery.
“How I miss your ranting, Do you miss my all time lows?” – Emily Haines on Combat Baby
“Yes I do.” – Herbzzz from The Electric Sky
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