What do I hate about my life? That’s a great question to wake up with!! You know sometimes we wake up with a lingering question in our heads, such as what am I doing today? Or will she love me? And things that sort, but today I woke up to “What do I hate about of my life?” Bloody hell, that’s not a very nice thing to wake up to, is it? I mean I can think of a few more unpleasant things that a person can wake up to, but if ever there was a list, this would make top five.
Seeing I’ve no choice but to explore the question, let me start of by stating that I feel hate is a word that is used too casually in such instances. People often say things like ‘
I hate my life”, “
I hate that car” & “
I hate this, I hate that, I hate corn, I hate fish,”. Why can’t we just say “
I don’t like....”? Hate is very strong and not to be used loosely. For instance ‘
I hate my life’, well go jump off a building then and stop whining. I don’t mean to offend any suicidal individuals with this statement, you off all people have the right to say you hate your life when you have somewhat decided to end it.
So now back to my situation, I would re-phrase my spontaneously generated question to “What do I not like about my life?”
To start of I don’t like my current status a lot. What’s there not to like? Well I am miserably (not very much though) single, not making as much money as I would like, spending too much to fast, losing my friends, the fact I don’t feel to disturb even though I am loosing my friends and I keep falling for people that I should know the chances of something fruitful blooming is near zero.
Wow! That’s a lot not to like. And to top it all of, after thinking of the things above, I am not bothered too much really. That I don’t like! I should learn to take care of myself a little more. I take my self for granted so often that I’ve come to accept most of the above without even making an attempt to change.
That’s not very nice. For starters, I should get myself a partner that appreciates me. Not those that take me for granted and only beckon when they are in need. I don’t need some one fancy, just some one real. You know, someone who is honest and some one who will be a friend (and a little more : p).
I am not that bad. I think I am kind of funny and easy going. I am not the most handsome bloke ever, but I get by. So why don’t I deserve some one nice then? You see I take my self for granted so much that I don’t bother looking out for nice partners. I always get myself attracted to those that are either too damn far away or those who feels I am inadequate and they require a few more partners. Not that I am complaining about them, because it is their life and their choices, its just I don’t like myself for putting me in such situations.
I just wished I could turn back the clock and jump of off a photograph of myself taken in
1999 and treat my self a little better. I guess its no use dwelling on such fantasies but let’s start working on tomorrow. In the end it doesn’t matter what I achieve but
at least I can tell my self I’ve had a damn good ride.