Who's taken the Jam out of my doughnut?

Each year, there would be several occasions where I will hit a certain low in my life. I am so accustomed to it that I can sense whenever “it” approaches.

Now, I am not complaining about this as I do realize that, theoretically, I should have control of my emotions.

Yet I find it intriguing on why I have these lows and continue having them. I should be able to tell myself to have fun and not bother when it happens. I am the master of my life, so why can’t I be happy all the time, if that is what I really want.

This triggered my curiosity and after several extended ciggie breaks, I have come to a conclusion that I have a subconscious part of myself that loves this feeling.

Now before you judge me, I have also concluded that at least two thirds of me am very much inclined towards jovialness & happiness. I do fancy having laughs and look at things with a rather positive mindset.

So how does this all tie back to the misery dependant monster then? Well I am in the opinion that everything requires a certain balance. Just like night and day, a male & female, rain & shine, sex & self pleasure and etc, our lives need balance too.

It is impossible to be happy without being sad. Some may say this is preposterous but how would one know if they are happy if they feel happy all the time? If we feel happy all the time we would be indifference to the being happy. See my point?

So now I feel a little better as I have embraced a new part of me and accepted ‘her’ into this wonderfully strange and funny life of mine, my mistress of misery.

“How I miss your ranting, Do you miss my all time lows?” – Emily Haines on Combat Baby

“Yes I do.” – Herbzzz from The Electric Sky